You may be wondering, ‘hey, why wasn’t this updated yesterday?’ The dad gum truth is that I was zapped up by creatures from above and didn’t get back home till 20 minutes ago. Now that my return is obvious so are my favorite cheesy news stories.

Here’s a few from today:
Panda poop to be recycled into souvenirs
BEIJING – Nothing says “I love you” like a photo frame made from panda poop.

-Pa. man survives 2nd lightning strike
- Fans honor ‘world’s worst poet’

Currently Listening To:
A great cover by the Foo Fighters: Baker Street

Dentist wins case over tusks in mouth
OLYMPIA, Wash. – An oral surgeon who played a practical joke on his assistant, and got sued for it, ended up getting the last laugh Thursday.

-Falling ice chunks hit Iowa neighborhood
I wonder if some Joe Dirt found a meteor?
- Wis. boy’s lemonade stand robbed
HAHAHA!
- Bed and breakfast at Ikea

-Soliciting sex draws fowl sentence for 3
PAINESVILLE, Ohio – A judge known for giving unusual sentences has ordered three men who pleaded guilty to soliciting sex to take turns dressing in a bright yellow chicken costume.

I often sit at work completely caught up and wonder, “what shall I do to make boring time, super fun time.” I finally have come up with a plan that will change boring time forever, ‘Super Fun Lesson.’
In my Super Fun Lesson’s series I will dare to go where no other thrill seekers have gone. You will be breathless and will marvel at the most brilliant exciting articles ever!! Take a look for yourself and never have boring time again.

Super Fun Lesson #1
Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider
(RHIC) is a heavy-ion collider located at and operated by Brookhaven National Laboratory (BNL) in Upton, New York. By using RHIC to collide ions traveling at relativistic speeds, physicists study the primordial form of matter that existed in the universe shortly after the Big Bang (during the first 20 to 30 microseconds after the universe came into existence), and also the structure of protons.

Super Cool Things To Remember
1. Currently, RHIC is the most powerful heavy-ion collider in the world.
2. World’s highest energy accelerator for studying spin-polarized proton structure
3. Will cost the U.S. this fiscal year 2007: 143.3 million U.S. dollars
4. 73% of all plastics are recycled in the collider. (not really just seeing if anyone is actually reading this)
5. I have an Uncle Rick (see GOP)

Super Cool Experiments
1. STAR is aimed at the detection of hadrons with its system of time projection chambers covering a large solid angle and in a conventionally generated solenoidal magnetic field
2. PHENIX is further specialized in detecting rare and electromagnetic particles, using a partial coverage detector system in a superconductively generated axial magnetic field. The smaller detectors have larger pseudorapidity coverage
3. PHOBOS has the largest pseudorapidity coverage of all detectors. of all detectors, and tailored for bulk particle multiplicity measurement
4. BRAHMS is designed for momentum spectroscopy, in order to study the so called “small-x” and saturation physics
5. PP2PP investigates spin dependence in p + p scattering

Super Sucky Things To Remember
1. RHIC creates a black hole
2. RHIC creates a transition into a different quantum mechanical vacuum (false vacuum)
3. RHIC creates strange matter that is more stable than ordinary matter

I hope you have had as much fun as I have. Wow! Now that was SUPER COOL!

Make sure to comment and let me know what your favorite part was..

Oscar the cat predicts patients’ deaths
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live.

:::Awesome News:::
- Maid jailed for serving up urine
-Hey, does this water taste funny to you?
-Lovemaking hedgehogs disturb the peace in Germany
“…ensuring the continuity of their species”
-ExxonMobil sends man 2,000 credit cards

:::RIP Good Friend:::
Weekly World News to close
MIAMI (Reuters) – Publisher American Media Inc. said on Tuesday it will stop printing the Weekly World News, which for 28 years gleefully chronicled the exploits of alien babies, animal-human hybrids and dead celebrities.

This song always makes me reflect back on one night when I decided I couldn’t lose my love. Rumor was my baby doll was moving to China the next morning. I had to rescue her so our love would forever be written in the tablets of cupid’s heart.
I had to hurry, daylight was just 4 hours away. I packed my backpack, ran and hopped on my bike. I hopped to high and missed my bike, hit the concrete so hard that I ruptured my colon, ear, and my knee caught on fire.
To make a short story long, she did indeed move to China and I later almost drowned. FIN!